As I started my way into my pregnancy I always said I was going to breastfeed. My sisters encouraged me, Peyton encouraged me, everyone seemed to tell me how great it was. I, like most new moms didn't really think much of it I just knew I would do it. I will say that I wasn't properly warned about the beginning. Or maybe I was I just didn't listen because I tend to do that from time to time. I had thought that Jax would come out and just know what to do and it wouldn't be an issue. Well I was WRONG. breastfeeding is something that needs to be taught to your child. It is their first lesson and it is a beautiful one, but of course once you get past the hurdles. When Jax came out my midwife handed him to Peyton who then handed him to me and I immediately started to try to nurse him. He wouldn't latch on my left breast but had a little bit better of a time on my right but still it was hard for him. Babies are born with the sucking reflex but nursing is oh so much more that just sucking. It is a combination of the baby pressing his tounge and swallowing and breathing, rather difficult for a little guy who just got "evicted" from his womb. In the days following the first day Jax was really having a hard time sucking and he wasn't latching onto my left breast. Some wonderful nurses helped me get to where he would so I was able to nurse on both which is important for the milk supply to come in. So with not a lot of sleep and still very tired from labor the weeks to follow were tough! I became very engouraged and tender for anything to touch them,even water. I had a crack that was about a half an inch long and about an eighth of an inch wide and I still had to continue to nurse on it so my milk supply would build. Jax and I pretty much lived on the recliner for his first 4 weeks of life. I was so exauhsted and hormonal, and hurting, I remember thinking why would ANYONE want to breastfeed. I almost threw in the towel but then my sister, Katee, said something so simple yet so profound she said "Marical it "will heal, just keep going". That was exactly what I needed to hear. I just had to take it a day at a time and tell myself there wasn't another option to feed my child and that this way was best. So I just kept "chugging" along. Now, even though I had such a rough start I am so enthusiastic about breastfeeding and happy that I started the journey. So fair warning to new moms the beginning is hard but please trust me in knowing it is sooooo worth it ! The feeling I get when I find out my baby boy has gained a few ounces or I see a new roll on him, or see his chubby cheeks filling out, I feel so accomplished knowing I did that for my son. The picture that follows is a very intimate one I hope helps you decide to breastfeed. This was right after birth Jax nursing for the first time. This is one of my favorites to see him holding my finger and nursing is breathtaking for me!